I woke up still drunk. The phone was ringing but it didn't occur to me to answer it so i didn't. I look at it and see there has been 14 missed calls. That's good. I recall that people were coming by to look at the house i live in, which is currently for sale. I can hear them in the next room and know that mine must be next so I lock the door and pretend to be masturbating to scare them away.
From what I can gather, I went to a pub last night. That was the plan before I started drinking and so I assume it was fulfilled. I look in my wallet - empty of course. Must have gone to the pub.
I am naked from the waist down and a half-eaten pizza pop sits beside my bed on a plate. I eat it.
I begin to get flashed of the previous night I immediately regret giving in to peer pressure. I planned on having a nice evening in watching the playoffs and perhaps having a nice dinner, but all it took was one phonecall, a suggestion, and that went out the window.
We left the pub around 2 i suppose. I had the bright idea to sleep in my car as opposed to my friends room. Apparently it is illegal to be drunk in a car with the keys. I recall vomiting all into the back seat and thinking to myself that this is the normal way things are done. That's what alcohol can do, totally rearrange the way you see the world. Up is down, down is left, whatever. A security guard hauls me out of the car and tries to interrogate me but I fail to keep up with the conversation. I make a tongue-in-cheek remark about the irrelevance of the british monarchy. They call me a cab and I continue my conversation about the monarchy with my cab driver who, from what i gathered, was from Africa. He drops me off home and I fall into the yard. So soft and comfy: "this grass is well maintained" I think to myself.
I get the bright idea to call my girlfriend, I don't recall the conversation aside from me asking her to go fetch me a Big Mac. She informs me that it is 3 am i suppose, to which i counter with the fact that macdonalds has a 24 hour drive thu. She hangs up.
I wake up. Broke. Hungover. My car stinking of vomit. On bad terms with my girlfriend. No studying done. Will I do it again? Of course!