Gravity powered orgasmo (also regulates orgasm intensity)
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Shit, can you imagine how much happiness this device will give you and me? This machine will give unlimited amounts of orgasms and all that only a button away. Of course, it will have to be risk free. This means I will not have to save my little buddies at the sperm bank. No more need to waste energy for a five minute wank. And maybe our brain won’t force us to hunt the ladies for 5 min intercourse.
Woman shutter
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Women, I hate your yaps but I love your bodies. I can’t help myself. Since the dawn of Man, we weren’t meant to listen, be considerate or even work on equal footing. It’s true men are competitive and we enjoy a little challenge. But you women take it to a whole new level. I am especially talking about the nagging. Can I get a unanimous “Hell yeah” guys? If it wasn’t for your goodies, I think by now we would be learning about gender genocide some time ago.
Invincible headphones
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Please someone invent that shit. Comfortable, metallic headphones that won’t break so easily. I am tired of buying headphones every other month. That stuff is expensive. Also the sound proof would have to be 100%. Nobody else should hear what I am listening to if I crank up the volume. Seriously.
Internet pimp slap command
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Imagine how much damage I could do if I was able to pass my hand through my monitor and pimp slap that idiot at the other end of the keyboard. Hehe, thinking right now of a few Shoutwire people I want to punch. Yes, I know you want to punch me too.
Anti-gravity gizmo that grants you dbz like powers
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F**k, I want to fly. And also it would be amazing if I could go all out on Supes. Man, I would have so much fun with that krypton dude. Anyways, we’ll build a whole island where people can spend the time fighting using crazy ninjitsus. In the past, I’ve had a lot dreams involving flight and bizarre fights with a number of people. Sometimes I am God and I burst into the white house and I destroy the greedy motherfuckers. And at the end I subject everyone to my power and make them my lowly subordinates. And no one can do anything bwahaha… And I wake up.
Related Links:This Week in Science: Man's Ten Best Inventions