33
7
|
Posted by nova Promoted 45 days 15 hours ago 2292 views
Entertainment / Humor
|
19 comments
|
|
A compilation of lies and deceit that are propagated by the people who teach your children.
1. So obviously the first one:
This little nugget was propagated by the true fact that steroids do actually shrink a males. By genitals though I mean balls. By many accounts steroids can actually enlarge your penis. Although this may be due to raised blood pressure and other factors. Suffice to say though. When my health teacher told me aboot this she said it shrunk the penis. Whether this was due to deceit or ignorance I am not sure. I am sure that is was an uninformed statement though.
2. The police will always help you:
Not likely. Like any job the police the police want results. Results=convictions. Police naturally think everyone is lying. So whether you are in the right or the wrong if you think a police officer is questioning you to be nice to you. You are wrong. You have the right to remain silent. You've all heard it a hundred times yet you still don't understand it. It means don't say anything. If asked anything. Repeat this like a prayer: "I want to talk to my lawyer." Chant it like a witches spell for all I care. Just say it.
3. Your parents always know what's good for you:
Much as you may wish it to be it's not. Most peoples mental development stop in their early twenties or even earlier. Add to that that most people are just plain stupid, and you can bet your rout to greatness does not lie in following your parents. Although if you ever have cause to question them you are likely right. I can sum this up in one phrase. Time does not change people, it merely shows them how they may change themselves. So couple this to the fact that most people are stupid, and you come up with the likely conclusion that you are better off listening to yourself. Unless you are also stupid. Which is unfortunetly most likely the case. SO for most people. Shut up and do as you told.
4. Good always wins:
Well this one is actually true to an extent. Although it depends on your definition. See in our society good does actually win. Although it is not entirely good. Our definition of good is Good for Society. As we are mere organisms this is as good as we can get. We encourage people to do things society looks upon as good, but we are merely ants in a nest. More complex, higher thinking, better looking. Hell Yes. But in the end the result is no different than a hive mentality with a penchant for over-dressed celebrities. As can be seen by global warming and mass starvation. Good is merely a way to keep the workers behaving...Dare I say it.... , "GOOD."
5. Your government should always be followed:
This one is similar to the parents one. Only on a much larger scale. Although you may succeed in rebelling against your parents. Rebelling against the man is much harder. With your parents you may come under pressure from your siblings. With the government you get pressure from everything. Including our good indoctrinated buddies the police. Also we come to the unfortunate conclusion that conflict is a part of evolution. So according to evolutionary theory. Our governments exist for the purpose of furthering evolution. Also if this game moves to fast it becomes winner take all.
6. You are a Good Person:
Although you maybe. You may never have stolen, murder or even committed sodomy. I say may due to the fact I bet most of you have.. The sad case here is though that not only one but more likely thousands of your ancestors have done all of these. I guarantee if you could look into your past you would find crimes that make Dahmer look like Mother Teresa. Actually scratch that because even mother Tereseas good had a selfish motive.
7. Helping someone is a pious thing to do:
Most of us help people because it feels good. Although I ask you is this really a good thing. Not really. In this case we our merely comitting hive mentality. Our brains our fooling us to be good. Why does our brain fool us like this you ask? Well it is because it is no more our brain than our money is our money. It is merely a vessel to trick us into doing what the group wants.
8. Truth can not be Hidden:
Maybe some facts can't I'm not sure. The thing is if some facts can't I haven't seen it yet. You can commit yourself to obeying the law scrupulously but some jerk can attack you from behind, and even tell the police he did. You will still get charged with assault though. Also for those you think hiding the facts is a new thing. Just remember. Stalin had Photoshop.
9. You are not an Addict:
I know you are going to tell me you've never done drugs or alcohol, and so you ask how can you be an addict. This ties in with #7 somewhat but whatever. You know that fuzzy warm feeling you get when you go to church or any other name you have for it. That is an addictive feeling. I know when I was confined I thought I'd try that drug. I went there for an escape. It was really cool. I knew what I felt though was just a release of numerous chemicals. It was a high as sure as cocaine. Although I would recommend over most others. These feelings are seen in almost every sociably acceptable action. From that pleasant Sunday dinner to that hug from a lover. You are just as much as an addict as that slobbering homeless guy sleeping in the alley. Just your drug of choice is just not as harmful to your physical well being or social standing.
Anyway chin up though. The good thing is you can always now go through life knowing you aren't so great. Society is the most addictive drug out there so just consider life one great big AA meeting, and know you aren't as strong as you think.
