Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.

Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.


Writer's Note: I am by no means a country music fan, but Johnny Cash transcends genre.


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Comments

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Unknownvarible, on 9/4/2006 6:31:36 PM
Total Posts: 8, Joined: 6/24/2006
lol, flame on people...flame on.

Chuck Norris is invisible...he only decides that you can see him.
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Tandex, on 9/4/2006 7:35:05 PM
Total Posts: 0, Joined: 9/4/2006
The only reason why Johny cash made music is because he looked on the internet and saw what kind of music chuck likes and he tried to Fuck Chuck SICKO!! JOHNY SUXS
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jacko87, on 9/4/2006 8:46:05 PM
Total Posts: 4, Joined: 4/19/2006
Chuck Norris is the greatest. I will leave you with a fact.

One the 7th day god rested, then Chuck Norris told him to get his ass back to work...so he did.
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grumpybear, on 9/4/2006 10:45:24 PM
Total Posts: 36, Joined: 1/19/2006
heheehheehe chuckie isn't all that! bravo johnny cash!
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Undertow, on 9/4/2006 11:01:58 PM
Total Posts: 473, Joined: 4/10/2006
Johnny is God and Chuck is Jesus. Or maybe it's the other way around because Johnny died. :/

Johnny is so badass he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Chuck is so badass only one thing can defeat him: paddles.
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illcasta, on 9/5/2006 1:42:06 AM
Total Posts: 2, Joined: 9/3/2006
chuck norris does infomercials from 1:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m., he's right up there with that guy that invented the gazzel running equipment.
And Walker Texas Ranger sucks dick.
washed up...

johnny cash +11
chuckie cheese -10
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Undertow, on 9/5/2006 1:49:28 AM
Total Posts: 479, Joined: 4/10/2006
Only terrorists don't like Walker Texas Ranger...

illcasta, or should I say Osama?
 |  Comment Score: Trash  |  Edit Comment
illcasta, on 9/5/2006 3:08:41 AM
Total Posts: 3, Joined: 9/3/2006
that show is horrible..

chuck norris is washed up kiddies
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AmadildoSlim, on 9/5/2006 7:51:23 AM
Total Posts: 2, Joined: 6/17/2006
number 8
number 8
number 8
number 8

lol..he should think that's his name by now..... or Bubbles(the current one I mean)

for number 8 (and the death in vegas track) Jonny Cash is the winner...oh!..and for that sad old joke....lol...
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Melancholy, on 9/5/2006 12:18:43 PM
Total Posts: 15, Joined: 2/8/2006
Johnny Cash rocks, I totally agree with this article. :P Johnny Cash can do anything Chuck Norris can x whatever. :)
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