Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.

Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.


Writer's Note: I am by no means a country music fan, but Johnny Cash transcends genre.


Related Links:
Top 10 Reasons to Keep Smoking
10 Reasons Valentines Day Sucks For Women
AdBrite Ad Here



Comments

These comments in RSS.
Comment View Threshold:
avatar
Deezy, on 9/3/2006 7:45:21 PM
Total Posts: 57, Joined: 12/28/2005
your lame
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Stretto133, on 9/3/2006 9:12:54 PM
Total Posts: 7, Joined: 9/2/2006
oh, I know why you fucks are so fascinated with JC. His middle finger looks like penis! You guys must get turned on by it.
 |  Comment Score: Trash  |  Edit Comment
avatar
BSoH, on 9/3/2006 11:42:06 PM
Total Posts: 21, Joined: 2/23/2006
Don't go much on the music, but the man is a legend...
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
shurikn, on 9/3/2006 11:56:09 PM
Total Posts: 160, Joined: 4/1/2006
there should be a rule against comparing the dead to the living...

but shit i like your reasons, especialy #6
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Cynycal, on 9/4/2006 7:09:11 AM
Total Posts: 8, Joined: 6/3/2006
thats "you're lame"
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
avatar
ghost4x, on 9/4/2006 7:30:42 AM
Total Posts: 98, Joined: 3/1/2006
"but Johnny Cash transcends genre"

Fuckin Eh!
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
ionutab, on 9/4/2006 9:36:10 AM
Total Posts: 11, Joined: 12/7/2005
Shouted !!!
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
murxmaximus, on 9/4/2006 9:42:37 AM
Total Posts: 146, Joined: 2/3/2006
To introduce a litte 'American' flame here :D

Johnny Cash was the 'old' American way - he just had to be there to influence the whole world, and he did a good job there.

Chuck Norris is the 'new' American way - he runs around and punches everyone in the face, even (or esp?) friends every now and then, does he do the job? No, most just pick themselves up and fight again ;P
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
leirbag, on 9/4/2006 2:51:08 PM
Total Posts: 5, Joined: 7/22/2006
totally shouted, cool cool cool
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
MyFishHasAIDS, on 9/4/2006 4:03:05 PM
Total Posts: 4, Joined: 8/15/2006
Here's more support for why Chuck Norris does not lose his god status to Johnny Cash - I find this highly relevant:

http://www.shoutwire.com/comments/27875/Super_Chuck_Norri
s_Bros_Sux_2BU_Mario_Demo
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Comments per page: 10

Post your comments

 

Your Message:

This system allows you to use html-like tags in replacement of HTML. These tags are easier to use and are widely supported on messageboard systems.

HTML DISABLED
CODE DISABLED

 

You must be a registered user in order to post comments.
Please sign in or create a new account.

Your Ad Here
Xxoozero
bulshoy
Dock
Bebichan
Romanov
LifeRiot
ThisisJeff
Sapphire
Shoutwire channels

Basketcase676You Know What's Dangerous?
1.sticking a knife in your leg2.gonorhorrea3.dating a girl who just got her period4.having buttsex5.eating out of date yoghurt6.shoving a leech up your ass7.pissing out your ass with sweaty cumballs8.jumpin into a pen of coyotes, whilst wearing a steak shirt.9.joining scientology10.not watching 30011.saying that 300 is a bad film becos i will kill you!12.being a woman who doesnt think that Dick Masterson is GOD!13.punching hedgehogs14.running through Texas, whilst h...

BebichanInterview With Westboro Baptist Church!!!
This interview was compiled by myself and the great Nodnarb232001. Questions were selected from suggestions made by our great, dedicated, Shoutwire users, as well as a couple of our own suggestions!Nodnarb232001- Yep, and now we would like to ask Shirley Phelps-Roper old Freddy Phelps himself, and anyone from their congregation to come here defend their views from some of our users' unholy "persecution". We need to be reminded of just why we're going to hell.Just cl...