Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.

Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.


Writer's Note: I am by no means a country music fan, but Johnny Cash transcends genre.


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Mercy, on 9/2/2006 6:26:42 PM
Total Posts: 18, Joined: 2/14/2006
I am closer to being cash than any of you. .dyess has that effect on people. . .so many damn methheads to mess with. . .lol . . .and dyess doesn't even have cops. . .booyah. . .
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skidme, on 9/2/2006 6:27:31 PM
Total Posts: 136, Joined: 6/17/2006
Dude, you guys don't know what you're talking about!
I heard somewhere that when Chuck Norris goes in the water he doesn't get wet. The water gets Norris!
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Ghozt, on 9/2/2006 7:23:46 PM
Total Posts: 3, Joined: 4/25/2006
Johnny Cash is the shit!
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Z3rGs, on 9/2/2006 7:33:12 PM
Total Posts: 5, Joined: 5/6/2006
fuck chuck norris, seriously there is nothing special about that man. Good post.
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TAKINGVIMY, on 9/2/2006 7:54:29 PM
Total Posts: 23, Joined: 7/26/2006
fuck norris, did he ever shoot a man, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Jhonny Cash shot a man in reno..............and if that wasent badass enought he fell down down down a burning ring of fire
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Rambutan, on 9/2/2006 8:36:03 PM
Total Posts: 356, Joined: 2/2/2006
Why care so much about these people? Like they will bother if you loose your job or your spouse gets killed. Its all in then name of personal PR.
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
Stretto133, on 9/2/2006 9:14:15 PM
Total Posts: 3, Joined: 9/2/2006
You fuckers are really pathetic. I guess this kinda shit is how you entertain yourself? You have nothing better to do so you just sit around thinking stupid imbecile shit like this? Try reading a book sometime.... But don't forget to take your ADHD meds.

Does anyone on shoutwire act more than 12?
 |  Comment Score: Trash  |  Edit Comment
pocketisagreatword, on 9/2/2006 9:23:04 PM
Total Posts: 0, Joined: 9/2/2006
hallelujah! maybe now the chuck jokes will end, such a douche bag! how can a man be so respect when hes prolly never touched a scoob in his life!
 |  Comment Score: Trash  |  Edit Comment
MetalGod1, on 9/2/2006 10:47:52 PM
Total Posts: 231, Joined: 1/12/2006
this is not even a joke, this is true
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Ratfink, on 9/2/2006 10:54:24 PM
Total Posts: 6, Joined: 2/26/2006
Bow Down to the truth that Johnny Cash is awesome and chuck is a lil girl in comparison
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