Greetings brothers and sisters in arms, these past few days have been a rough ride for every single member of the Shoutwire community. Community, I can not stress that word enough. When the shit hit the fan and the thin became thick we all stuck together and e-thugged the internetz harder than anyone in Shoutwire history. Fox news reported that squads of 10,000 riot police were called to the scene. 9,999 were killed instantly when zero started pissing on them all from atop a tall skyscraper. I kicked the other survivor in the nuts so hard that he simply ceased to exist. Shortly there after George Bush pardoned xxoozero in fear that they might have to bring his smelly Mexican ass into a court hearing. However, as you all know zero didn’t do all of the pissing though! The entire Shoutwire community stood up and with a unified voice we told hollywire and tubearoo: “Hey, Fuck you man.” I’ve heard epic battle stories of people actually calling the company up and verbally abusing them. I witnessed massive spammage, the likes of which we have not seen since days of the AOL chat rooms of yesteryear. The reason I think some of us went a little insane was the shocking news of Bulshoy’s departure. It has perplexed me just as much as all of you but I know the entire community of Shoutwire just wants Bulshoy to do what he feels he has to do.
For those of you who were living under a rock (or tending to real life matters…) the past few days might not know what in the hell is going on here. Please allow me to fill you in to the best of my ability. It all seems to have started with the arrival of a celebrity news article, posted by username: Admin, at the top of the page. “Wtf, that is pretty gay, oh well some idiots like that shit, to each his own.” I said to myself as I noticed something odd about the link. A very low number of views, only one shout total with a couple of bashes? How the hell is this thing stuck at the top of the site? After checking with the staff on IRC to see what they were doing about fixing the problem I learned there was nothing they could do. No one could remove it, demote it, or edit the title. So, the flame wars began… Everyone who was reading this stuff was pissed. Everyone was bashing it and the admins of the site were mega-bashing it. It reached a ridiculous number of bashes before the article linked to something even gayer. No worries though we continued to show our distaste. During all of the commotion it was found out that Tubearoo had struck a deal with hollywire for that #1 top position. They are getting paid to debilitate Shoutwire’s reputation! This had to stop and drastic measures would soon be taken. The article soon received over 1,000 bashes. Shoutwire thus achieved the highscore for the time present. Then, the admin took away our ability to even bash the article; later on in the battle the comments section was removed. Now no one could even show their distaste for the “#1” article. So, Mr. Zero wrote a very lulzy editorial that perfectly outlined the whole entire situation. He said that he took this offense as an “invasion” of Shoutwire. He rallied the troops and they went a-marchin. Massive spam was being on inflicted upon hollywire’s articles comments section. Others took alternative measures. I went to sleep Wednesday night with a feeling in my gut like the Power Rangers must have felt when Lord Zedd took over the thunder zords.
On Thursday morning my horrors were realized, the epic spam battle was still taking place and hollywire was holding its ground. Zero’s ed was being read by all and Bulshoy wrote an editorial that told of $50 in real live jew goldz to anyone who can put a stop to hollywire. This act began many talks of intricately laid out plans to stop the evil hollywire. It appears that tubearoo’s jew gold was at stake here with the recent contract with hollywire. So it is believed that tubearoo’s paid admin deleted Zero’s and Bulshoy’s editorials. Big. Fucking. Mistake. As if the Shoutwire masses were not angry enough, the censorship of these two articles turned an out of control campfire into a good ol’ fashioned bonfire. In my haste I wrote an editorial that contained so much hate and belligerence that I was offered a consolation prize in the 2008 annual Playa Hatas Ball sponsored by Mr. Chappell himself. The community of Shoutwire was right there though, not standing behind me, not standing in front of me. Standing right beside me for we were all united for a great cause. People began spamming the ever-loving shit out of the article on Shoutwire until an eerie silence was not heard throughout the battlefield. A piece written by the main fucking man himself Mr. Bulshoy was entitled: “The Final Editorial”. I can safely say that not one single soul was happy about this. The news came as a complete shock to all but something even more shocking was about to happen. After about perhaps maybe two hours of his editorial being posted it was deleted. That’s right, it was deleted. The Shoutwire minions filled with a rage like none other. Some people found berserk mode power ups hidden in the comments section of certain articles. I am not 100% sure but I think I saw one hidden in the back of the:
|^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ ||______
|.The WHO GIVES A | ||'""|""\_,_
| __ FUCK TRUCK __ l ||__|__|_|)
|(@)(@)****(@)(@)****|( @)**
All hell then broke loose as raged out SW users spammed every single article with the body text of bulshoys’s final editorial. People were spamming all sorts of wild ass shit that would ultimately lead to a massive banning of several users. ShanusMaximus and Romonov I know for sure were banned. I can not recall everyone else who was lost in battle and for that I am sorry. Many felt that we were losing and that admin was being super cheap. He was probably AWPing people in Counter-strike while mass-banning SW members with a shit eating grin plastered on his acne infested face. All hope was not lost though. The owner contacted bulshoy and the outcome was the demoting of the hollywire ad from the #1 spot and the removal of most of the pop ups. Victory was ours. We stuck it to the man, stood our ground and laughed in their fascist faces. Yet at what price did we pay for our victory? We had just lost Shoutwire’s most valuable member. The most dedicated volunteer site admin I have ever been witness to in all my days of interwebz surfing. Most if not all of the banned accounts were unlocked but Shoutwire had a black hole in its blue heart.
Enough about the past, the future is what I am concerned about. I am under the impression that several dedicated members of our community think that Shoutwire has gone down the drain. That freedom of speech is a thing of the past and the thought police are poised to restrict you around every article. Shenanigans I say! I personally am doing all I can to promote entertainment to the front page. Bulshoy has given me extended permissions for the time being. I do not know if it’s permanent or what but I am doing everything in my power to delete spam, IP ban spammers, and bring Shoutwire back to the kick ass site that it was a few days ago. I know am not alone in this continuing battle and I urge everyone to keep submitting quality articles that you know our community will love to read. I encourage people not to post any more articles with fake links and titles like like “shitwire is dead”, “THIS place SUX LOL”, or “censorship ftl”. Let us all focus on the future of Shoutwire. This great website is not going to turn to shit and like I said, I’m doing everything in my power not to let it. So dear brothers and sisters in arms let this be a lesson to those fuck with us. You will not win. Shoutwire’s amazing dedicated user base simply won’t allow it to happen. Let the Gadsden flag of old fly proudly and keep your heads up!
