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Man Gets Life Sentence For Stealing $0.50 Donuts

   Posted by SteelyDan  Promoted 191 days 12 hours ago  5054 views  editorial  

    Lifestyle / General Lifestyle  |   Comments 35 comments  | 

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Hey there, folks. It's early morning here and with that, as comes with a new day in many of your offices, there are assloads of fresh and juicy Krispy Kreme donuts. If you haven't had them, it's the heavenly glory of having Miss Johannson's mammalian ludicrosities in your mouth, only better. Fun stuff.

What's not fun stuff, however, is getting in trouble for stupid things. This especially includes getting in trouble with the law for items that should be effective non-issues.

That brings us to today's 'Legal System is Kinda F*cked' story of the day. It features an appearance by a Bakersfield, California, man who is getting a life term in pound me in the ass federal prison, a fate even feared by the great Samir Nagheenanajarar barr arr eerr, for a what must surely be the most heinous of crimes.

Did he beat up some handcuffed lady to the point she looked like a crack-binged Gumby and later claim "She Fell"? Did he taze someone to the point of exhaustion and death? Well let's find out. Here's the back-story via video:



Wow, so it seems a law that was made in the spirit of punishing hardcore three time offenders, arbitrarily mind you (why three instead of two, or seven? are those not holy enough numbers or something?) is now going to screw a man for stealing, actually maybe stealing, a 50 cent pack of donuts.

People actually have to PROTEST and say, "Hey, dude, Legal system. That's kinda fucked, ya know?". There is something wrong with that, and I feel it's indicative of a very dangerous trend in not only US society, but Western government in general.

Now granted, the guy in this case may be a bona-fide criminal mind and habitual line crosser in the boundary filled land of morals and mischief. I don't know.

What I do know is there is a very disconcerting trend among cops, and courts of law, to land people in jail for relatively petty things in the grand scheme of things.

Every time this happens, it 'destroys society' as our friend Joe Reagan would put it. As much as the third strike of 'stealing' a donut should not have landed this man a term of LIFE IN PRISON of all things, things like very small-scale marijuana possession or 'looking at a cop funny' should not result in the legal troubles and woes they yield today.

John Mccain, Beautiful Smile
"Grrr...danged 'gum liberal ShoutWire folks keep ruining my evil world plans."
At this point, I'm sure the Union of Conservative Commentators are angrily spitting coffee and praying for my liberal heart while thinking up witty responses, but you have to see the light here.

Our governments are getting into the habit of dictating morality based on antiquated notions, such as religion or old-timey opinion not even based in science or social survey. Why exactly should society support jailing someone, for years, because they were caught with a dime sack so many times? Why on Earth would a person in an airport, who can't speak English, deserve to get gang tackled and tasered to death by a hodge podge group of cops? How the fuck does a man end up with a life in sentence term over a donut, just because a judge wants to take a case literally?

That's the danger I'm talking about, corruption of precedent if you will. We have to constantly watch the legislative, executive and judicial branches of our government. Sure, they are set in a way to balance each other out, but that does not mean they aren't subject to internal corruption, hijacking or sheer apathy.

Of late it seems the old "moral majority' along with amazingly dumb judges or juries have brought major harm to our legal system. If you take a look at the video, the most normal of towns-folks had to rise up and protest against the decision. The basis of the protest: "That's not the spirit in which this law was created."

Not only do things like this bring great danger to society, they also needlessly fill up our prisons and make us have to pay more in taxes. It's a triple lose, so why does it continue to happen?

There are too many factors to properly condense into one editorial, but you can rest assured that at the forefront of it are power-tripping cops, careless judges, sneaky legislators and self-interest lobby groups that would want a man in the electric chair for having weed, even if it was scientifically proven to raise your IQ and make your piss be the cure-all for the oil crisis.

Just imagine a society where you could spend life in prison next to Ted Bundy type folks for simply being a litterer, weekend toker and alleged stealer of donuts. Beautiful work, legal system. Way to mess up the dream.

Ah well, by next week this media headline will be forgotten by media stations and the law will get just that much more corrupt, all to the sound of drones in their offices munching Krispy Kreme donuts and taking a sneak peak of the news.


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Mono975, on 2/28/2008 8:36:00 AM
Total Posts: 55, Joined: 10/31/2007
This must be some kind of Misstake ?? LIFE ?
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
geoluv, on 2/28/2008 8:39:51 AM
Total Posts: 432, Joined: 11/15/2006
they are trying to scare him, you know they wont give him life for that hed get out on appeal in a second and it would just cost the more money. the dude was in this EXACT situation not long ago and they gave him a break then also.

should the three strikes law apply to anything but violent offences? no. should this douche do some time? maybe, hes been stealing shit since 1977 and he still hasent learned his lesson.
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geoluv, on 2/28/2008 8:41:56 AM
Total Posts: 433, Joined: 11/15/2006
ps. under federal law, anything that has a possable jail term longer than 6 months must be put before a jurry. do you think a jurry trial will be wasted on this dude?
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bulshoy, on 2/28/2008 8:46:06 AM
Total Posts: 5517, Joined: 11/15/2005
The three strikes law is fucking retarded. Glad we don't have that shit up here or i'd already be serving life for:

- Shoplifting at age 18.
- Growing weed - twice.
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
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cowpants, on 2/28/2008 8:48:44 AM
Total Posts: 668, Joined: 7/5/2006
Stealing a donut? Life's too good for him. Give him the chair.

/sarcasm
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waffleman, on 2/28/2008 8:51:22 AM
Total Posts: 1092, Joined: 4/8/2006
I've read about this guy, and he's a habitual petty Criminal. Life is however too extreme.
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cadpig, on 2/28/2008 8:57:22 AM
Total Posts: 1257, Joined: 1/28/2006
It's three strikes and your out....I think life is a bit harsh....I think we should have Caneing here in the states..(You know big guy with bamboo stick whacking some idiot 70 times for being stupid)

@georgelovesdirt,

I haven't heard of anybody sucessfully appealing the 3 strikes law in cali....Has it happen?
****
Screw McCain.....Chenney makes a better Dr Evil.....Change that picture!!!
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jackanape, on 2/28/2008 8:57:32 AM
Total Posts: 2112, Joined: 3/27/2006
"should the three strikes law apply to anything but violent offences? no. should this douche do some time? maybe, hes been stealing shit since 1977 and he still hasent learned his lesson."

Here's a fucking idea. Try and find out why the guy has to steal and fix the problems from the source.

That whole 3 strikes thing is ridiculous. It sounds more like a carnival attraction than a legal recourse. The cost to taxpayers to lock up idiots like this is pretty damned high.
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
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Fido, on 2/28/2008 9:01:32 AM
Total Posts: 3118, Joined: 1/3/2007
The 3 strike law, I thought, had to be comprised of 3 class x felonies, I thought they were fairly specific about what made up that type of offense. I guess not.
 |  Comment Score: Neutral  |  Edit Comment
cadpig, on 2/28/2008 9:06:38 AM
Total Posts: 1258, Joined: 1/28/2006
@jackanape

God Damn it man, what more can we do?!!! We tried Milk and Cookies...We took away his cartoons and video games...and i am just about fed up!!!....You liberal...(sarcasm)...You think a hug would help:)
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