Ancient prophecy reveals that in the universe, only one force has fathered almost as many children as Captain Kirk or Han Solo: Riker's Man-Beard.Top Ten Reasons Captain Picard Asked Riker To Shave His Man-Beard
10. Tired of Riker's man hair in the sink of the bridges men's bathroom. (Was there ever a bathroom on Trek?)
9. Riker hazed new ensigns by baiting them to shoot him in the man-beard with full phaser fire, knowing it would only reflect back in their direction.
8. It accidentally destroyed two Klingon Birds of Prey.
7. Picard got tired of Counselor Troi sensing "great libido" whenever she came to the bridge.
6. Worf constantly graveled and insisted on worshiping the Beard of Honor.
5. Direct violation of the Prime Directive via the "Prevent Kirk Baby Trend in Prewarp Civilizations" clause.
4. One time the beard knocked the warp drive offline when Riker tripped and fell into it.
3. The beard went alone into the Borg cube. Minutes later Borg were heard screaming for mercy. The cube blew up. The beard emerged alone from the wreckage. Everyone trembled.
2. Q threatened to follow Picard for an eternity after the Beard outsmarted him, twice, in a game of chess.
1. Picard grew tired of the typical hail on the bridge:
Worf: "Sir, we are being hailed."
Picard: "On screen."
Random Female Captain: "Umm, hey, is Riker there?"
Picard: "Yes, is there something we can help you with?"
Female Captain: "Can we beam over and take a picture with him?"
Picard: "Curse that man-beard, that's the 10th time today! *sigh* Make it so."
