I’m sick of all the bullshit. This is my official announcement.
First of all, I am totally serious about this. Well, I may not be totally serious about anything, but that is neither here nor there. I may not be a politician, but that’s cool. This just means I am not a liar by nature. I see things wrong with my country that can be fixed so easily. If no one else will stand up, I will. You can count me as an enemy combatant right now, Mr. Bush, because I represent not only America, but the rest of the world as well. We are all sick of the way America is headed.
As of right now, I am running as a write-in candidate. I will not now, nor anytime in the future, accept a nomination from any party. Political parties are part of the problem. I’m running on behalf of the people.
Here is a sample of my stance on some important issues.
Foreign Policy: Under my administration, US troops will not be sent to foreign countries to do combat. I will not send our boys to die on foreign soil. We will officially take a hands-off policy when it comes to foreign problems. We will only use force when absolutely every avenue of diplomacy is exhausted, and then only when the threat to our soil is clear and present. This does not mean that a country might have folks who would do harm to us. People will be free to hate us. It is their right as it is our right to hate them. If Iraq falls into civil war, I’m sorry, but we got worse problems right here.
Homelessness:It is a god damn shame we can not take care of our own people. I would institute a new tax on the rich called the “homeless tax”. If you make over 100,000 a year, you can afford to give less than one percent to this program. The money would be used to build affordable housing, create new jobs, and help those in need. Welfare recipients would be placed under close scrutiny. Their children would be taken away if they are deemed to be “Welfare Moms”. Child care would be made available and affordable.
Education:This is the most important of all issues. Our children should be the best educated in the world. I would see to it that every child in this country was offered the same caliber of education as any other child anywhere in the world. Money would be no object. This is our future that is on the line here. We can not take that lightly.
Health Care:Our health care system is screwed up and needs to be redone. I would use the models of certain successful European countries to assure everyone can afford to visit a doctor if they need to. I believe this to be a basic human right. Privatized hospitals would be subject to massive fines and a new set of rules that would make it nearly unthinkable to deny anyone care under any circumstances.
Police Policy:I would vigorously prosecute any police officer found to be abusing his privileges. Too many officers these days walk around with a “John Wayne” attitude. This must be stopped. This is a major problem in our society. Every officer would be subject to a review every six months. For good service, they will be rewarded with money. For bad service, they would be punished with a good old fashioned pink slip.
Homeland Security:There will be no more spying on American Citizens. The fear has gone too far. There will be no more terror alerts. Suspected terrorists who are captured will be treated the same as anyone else who goes to jail in this country. They will receive their due process. This is the thing that separates us from barbarians. We will not sacrifice freedom for security.
Immigration: Every immigrant will get his or her chance to enter the country. They must have a working knowledge of the English language, some sort of skill, and not be sex offender. Any illegals found to be living in this country that do not fill those simple requirements will have their assets seized and sold in order to purchase plane tickets back to their country of origin. Any left over funds will go to educating our youth. Yes, it may be true that our country will be flooded. That is ok. We have plenty of room. If it turns out that we don’t, we will just build more. This can only help our economy.
Civil Rights:Racism will not be tolerated in any way. Everyone will be given a fair shake regardless of their race, national heritage, sexual orientation, religion, or any other aspect of their lives that may be different from the norm. Affirmative action will be destroyed. The best person for the job will indeed be the one who is hired. A special task force will be formed to enforce this. Employers will lose their business licenses if they do not comply. Also, if you are a member of the KKK and also happen to be the sheriff of even the smallest town, you can bet you will not keep your job for too long.
At this point, you may be asking “Where will the money come from?” It is simple. It is already there. We spend too much money on bullshit. There will be no more thousand dollar toilet seats. If I find out someone signed a contract to buy anything at a ridiculous price, I will kick their asses myself.
Most of all, above everything else, I will not be afraid to admit that I am wrong., If a better plan comes up, I will take it in a second. My ego will always come after the general welfare of my people. More will be posted on this in the future as it develops.
Vote Zero in 08. I can’t fuck this country up anymore than the last bunch of presidents we have had. *That is the official slogan*