47
3
|
Posted by Fido Promoted 20 days 11 hours ago 2300 views
editorial
Informative / Informative General
|
20 comments
|
|
A few tips for Shoutwire's new writers.
Mighty Shoutwire has recently begun to offer a unique opportunity to it’s loyal users by soliciting original editorial content. As a result, we’ve been privy to several works by members that have been submitted and presented with varying degrees of acclaim, ranging from: “STFU and suck my cock“, to: “amen, brother“.
Given the notorious reputation of Shoutwire, being bashed and ridiculed is part of the game. The time a viewer spends on the site to “rip someone a new one” is equal or greater to the time spent in praise. The game is view numbers and the more controversy a piece can inspire translates into more site activity. With that in mind, I’d offer a few tips to neophyte contributors:
1. Titles:
Titles should be eye catching, the use of expletives is recommended. “F*ck This“, “Fu*k that“. “Bastard Sh*t Eating Mother Fuc*ing C*cksucker Burn in Faggot Ass Rape Hell,”… better yet. The use of asterisks lend a sophisticated air and attract the eye. The more venomous the initial message, the larger likelihood the item will be viewed.
2. Subject Matter:
“Hating on” is by far the most popular theme. This allows for a variety of options. Shoutwire favorites include:
- Religion and it’s subsets of specific orientation. Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Baptists and Fundamentalist Muslims allow for the greater amounts of righteous indignation. Scientology as well, although it technically may not be a religion.
- Fat chicks, fat guys, fat pets and fast food.
- Women in general, fat or otherwise. The majority of SW users haven’t acquired the wherewithal to develop a female relationship outside of internet porn, so that misogyny is a popular attitude.
- Government and elected leaders. A little care might be taken in this area, lest a couple guys in cheap suits and sunglasses come to your door. As ever popular as it may be, suggesting the assassination of George Bush will require a lengthy disclaimer.
Other subjects could involve just about anything from aardvarks to zoophiles. Or the possible combination thereof.
Honestly, it really doesn’t matter what you write, how you write, that you think grammar is your mother’s mother, or that “spell check” might be medication for a psychotic episode, Shoutwire needs your input.
3. Grammar and Spelling.
I lied about that part, above. Spelling and grammar are important. First of all so that a reader might have any fucking idea what you are writing about and you never know when the Washington Post might be cruising SW for new talent.
I’m lying about the Washington Post thing too. I think.
4. Submit all articles with your real name, date of birth and credit history, including account numbers. Shoutwire needs your total support.
There you have it. In conclusion, (btw, articles should also have conclusions) follow these simple guidelines and you too, can be part of the elite fraternity of the unpaid, overly abused and hopelessly myopic Shoutwire writing staff.
