This weeks installment of the ever-popular marijuana crop report. Enjoy.
To start out this crop report, I just want to remind everyone that to see this continue, I need your emails. Roguepirateninja at Yahoo.com.
Somewhere deep in the backcountry of the Philippines, one of our bravest readers lurks this week. He is in search of a K for under $100. If the rumor he heard was indeed true, he will be a happy smoker. Of course we are talking shwag here, good weed is non-existent in that part of the world. Not only that, but cops will rape you harder than you have ever been raped before if they catch you.
However, cops can be bought off pretty easily around there… or that is what I am told. Regular commercial is currently going for $30 an ounce, or $20 if you can savy your way into a deal and go in on it with some friends. Lately it has been dry. Regardless, we here at the crop report salute the brave souls who would risk the harsh Pilipino laws for a few hits of shwag.
Moving across the world to another island, we end up in the Bahamas. Moroccan Hash is going for upwards of $260 an ounce while Columbian Red is going for $80 an ounce. This makes the Red a better deal whereas you can buy an ounce for the same price as a quarter of the hash. Columbian gold is $20 more an ounce than the Red and for some good Sensi you will pay an extra $20 on top of that.
Ironically the best weed in the area comes from South Florida. I say ironically because a report from a SoCal native on hiatus in Florida states that they have fuck all for any kind of weed. Meth is said to be found on every corner, but ganja is strangely absent. What they call hydro apparently is nowhere near California’s worst shwag.
Speaking of my native home that I don’t live in anymore, we got more reports on honey oil from that part of the country. It is pretty easy to find down around the San Diego area, along with Wax and Bubble Hash as well. Lifesaver and Maui Zaui, the two best strains, are going for $30 a gram. However, there have been reports of some stuff claiming to be these two godly strains going around the dispensaries in that area and turning out to be some Diesel bullshit.
If you ever happen to travel across the pond and end up near Manchester Sheffield Leeds, you will know you are in a place with three names. Or maybe you're not, who can tell with these stoner emails? Regardless, what you want to pick up if you are ever in that area is something called “Blues”, or otherwise labeled “Super Skunk” by the government. It will run you about 20 of those little L looking thingies and you will get about two grams. The source made a claim that White Widow was the greatest weed in the world, but failed to send me any so I call bullshit until I see some god damn product!
Moving on to Canada… ah yes, Canada. Every crop report I do I get tons of emails from the frozen north. There are more stoners on the internet from Canada than there are Catholics in Rome.
Toronto’s reports are conflicting. One user, angry at last week’s comments, wants to know why a guy can’t sell a quarter for $40 if he paid $900 for a large bag of the best shit he ever tasted. He says screw those people who only pay $30 a quarter. God damn them!
On behalf of the rest of the free world that often pays $100 or more for a quarter of good shit, fuck you Canada.
Up in Sherwood Park, a suburb in Alberta, ounces of good strains are going for $220. Ounces of ‘regular’ strains are going for $180. Regular strains are often better than the chronic most of us in the states come across. Fuck you again, Canada.
Vancouver is at $180 for an ounce of the good stuff. Vancouver is probably in the top three or four cities in the world when it comes to smoking quality weed. If you live in Vancouver, and enjoy these awesome prices for the best weed while the rest of us struggle in poverty and anarchy, fuck you for the third and last time.
To end the crop report this week, Japan sucks. Yes, Japan sucks. $30 to $60 per gram in the home of the PlayStation 3, along with $100 for 2 grams of some shitty hash. If you get caught with those two shitty grams, that’s your ass, Mr. Postman. Japan’s incarceration facilities are shit. If you are caught in Canada with 6 ounces, however, you may just get off with a few months probation and the condition you “get a job or stay in school”.
A final reminder… send your emails to roguepirateninja at Yahoo.com if you want to see the crop report continue.
Related Links:The Marijuana Crop Report Part One Return of The Marijuana Crop Report The Marijuana Crop Report Computers And Marijuana – Together At Last The Final Marijuana Crop Report?