Advertising people are enviably diabolical. In what other industry are you actively paid to legally hypnotize and brainwash people? Besides the government of course.
You know what's fucking awesome? Advertising. It's completely legal brainwashing, requires very little effort to be successful, can help businesses conduct...business, and alerts us consumers to products and services that they want us to buy. Magnificent, isn't it?
Not a day goes by that our senses are assaulted by some sort marketing ploy.
And I'm just about sick and tired of all of it.
It's no secret, advertising is everywhere. Newspapers, the internet, magazines, television- these are obvious, and they use it as their main source of funding. In most commercialized publications (Newsweek, for example), there seems to be some sort of product plug or advertisement every two or three pages. Newspapers have small boxes with an ad spread all over the place. Television is rife with bullshit ads designed to sell you stupid shit that you either can't afford, or don't need. From the standard 30-40 second commercials that interrupt our favorite programs, to half-hour "Paid Programs", television is the number one server of advertisement media to the masses. As for the internet, I'll just refer you to
this angry rant from quite a while ago. Now, these are the most commonly used delivery methods for advertisements, and, for the most part, can be easily spotted and ignored. So, what's an industry that's built entirely on spewing bullshit to do when the people whose attention it's supposed to be getting wisens up and stops paying attention? Change their ways and use their media domination for more altruistic purposes?
Hell no, they'll just become more deviously evil.
Since the general populace is becoming less tolerant of, and more resistant to the common advertisements, marketing executives and their goons are stepping up their game. They're targeting the part of our brain that drives our underlying thoughts, feelings, and actions.
The primary target of the "Marketing Invasion" is our sub-conscious; and these guys know what they're doing.
I've categorized the four main techniques advertising people try to force their tendrils into the deeper workings of your mind, and begin molesting your thoughts to suit their purposes.
1. "You Suck, Buy This."
This is the most common form of advertising, has been around the longest, and it's usually the most successful. The premise is simple, show some unbelievably attractive person doing something awesome using said product, and insinuate that the regular jack-offs can do or be the same if only they buy this product. Some of the main offenders are:
* Any and all beauty product ads- The main focus is to cause feelings of insecurity in its target. That's right- all these make-up and "what the hell else people put on their faces to de-ugly themselves" advertisements are actually trying to sell you this stuff by making you depressed to be who you are.
* Enzyte/Extenze/Viagra/any other "Male Enhancement" product- In the same vein as the make-up people, the main purpose of these advertisements is simple. Make every single man watching them feel inadequate, attack their manliness, and tell them there's a magic pill that will give them a boner not unlike one Thor himself would sprout.
Don't believe me? Watch any channel that shows "Paid Programs", generally late at night. I'll give ten to one odds that a "Paid Program" will come on for "Extenze Male Enhancement" pills. It consists mainly of a group of moderately hot sluts, repetition of the phrase "It got bigger", and the most spectacularly-badly staged "street interviews" I've ever witnessed.
2. Confuse the Hell Out Of People
I was watching television the other night, Law and Order or something, and I witnessed one of the most inexplicably confusing commercials I've ever seen. It involved cliff jumping, cars, strobe lights, I think I saw a ninja somewhere, and lots of the color blue. It was a random jumble of videos of people doing several activities that had nothing in common, seems to clash (cliff diving and then a hospital nurse...?), and no contextual point what so ever. At the end of the commercial, some company's logo flashed on the screen, and it was over.
No context, no explanation, no clear indication on just what was being advertised...it was just some pseudo-post-modern "artistic" nonsense designed to sell something by confusing you. The only thought going through my mind was "What the FUCK did I just witness? Seriously, what the hell were they trying to sell?"
Now, upfront, confusion doesn't seem like the best way to market a product, but it does work. I've only seen the aforementioned commercial once, a few weeks ago, but it's stuck with me. The reasoning behind this is simple- Your subconscious is where your deep, intuitive thinking happens. When you're faced with a problem of monumental difficulty, such as making sense of the inexplicable, your sub-conscious is what attempts to unravel and find a solution to it. By the time it does, the advertisement has already nestled itself into your long term memory, and a permanent link had been formed in your brain between that ad, and the confusion you felt because of it.
Main Offenders- Can't think of any...makes brain hurt.
3. Annoyance Based Marketing
I'm not entirely sure why, but pissing off your target market seems to be a popular choice in advertising. The internet is rife with this- anyone remember the Outback Steakhouse video ad fiasco here on Shoutwire a few months back? The only real explanation I can come up with for the rationale behind Annoyance Based Marketing is that people, in general, tend to focus on and remember things that annoy them most, and the sub-conscious mind stores that information, creating a link between the advertisement and their emotion (in this case- annoyance or rage), making them less apt to able to ignore the annoyance.
Main and Biggest Offender
It's because of this ad that I have boycott any product from that company, from now until the end of time.
4. Ethnic Stereotyp--er, "Culturally Relevant Advertising"
"Culturally Relevant Advertising" is the biggest insult to our collective intelligence that has ever been delivered. In a world where everyone is ready to scream racism at the slightest sign of indiscretion or inconvenience, a time where Political Correctness has a stranglehold on our language and actions, how in the hell does this advertising technique still thrive?
Creating ads based on stereotypes is easy- get a group of minorities together as a "focus group", show them your brand new ad, assume their opinion matches the rest of their kind...and it works.
The reasoning behind it is simple- for a lot of people, minorities especially, cultural identity is one of their most important values. It's a sub-consciously driven need to feel like they are a part of their group, which is primarily born out of the instinctual "strength in numbers" ideology. The belief that if one doesn't act like the rest of their group, then that's one less "brother or sister" supporting them, and thus the group loses power. As an added bonus- there are a lot of people who feel out of place with their group, so they'll join with another group that they identify with, and show more blind devotion to the group than its original members. This, as you may assume, can make some people highly suggestible.
Main Offenders
* The Hip Hop Community-
"Air Force Ones", need anything else be said?
* Mc. Donald's- Their entire "i'm lovin' it" campaign is geared towards urban youth culture. From the relaxed grammar, to the hip-hop used in nearly every commercial, it reeks of stereotypically targeted marketing. Hell, take the awesomely racist promotional commercial for the "Kung-Fu Panda" Happy Meal toys for example. You've got two kids fighting over a chicken nugget using kung-fu and chopsticks and a fortune cookie reference (on the in-store posters).
Guess what race the kids in the commercial are. (Hint for those who haven't seen it- Chinese)
How blatant can it get?
There you have it people- the top four marketing strategies our dear corporate overlords are using to infiltrate the inner machinations of our minds, pervert our thoughts, and control us into buying more stupid shit we probably don't need. And the best part, the hell of it is- It's all legal. That's right, it's a completely legal form of mass mind control. We haven't even touched on the idea of
Undercover Marketing or the rampant
spying "Information Gathering" going on, nor the experiments where scientists are trying to figure out
What part of our brains make us want to buy things. This is only the beginning folks; the more we find ways to resist the unrelenting torrent of feces spewed forth from the grand sphincter that is the advertising and marketing industry, the more creative and forceful they will become. The only thing we can do is be alert, remain vigilant, and think before you buy into the lies and chicanery they feed you. If we don't stop this mental-molestation now, there's no telling what other powers will pick up on it, and use these techniques for more nefarious purposes.