Don’t miss your chance to vote in the first annual ShoutWire’s Notorius Person of the Year Award.
Yesterday, I decided to go outside for a quick jog. It was terribly hot. Unseasonably hot. Day progressed into night and I kid you not, the temperature got hotter. I couldn’t figure out what was going on.
I cranked up the AC to full blast, downed some cold Gatorade, and flicked on the TV as sweat poured down my brow. This is when I saw the crisis.
Ann Coulter was blowing hot air from her ass. She was talking about her new book. It had caused a day of global warming.
I’m sure many of you have noticed this trend of mindless pundits blowing their hot crap at us, expecting us to greedily eat it up. Well, I’m getting fed up with their shenanigans. It’s time to call some folks out.
This coming December we will have our first annual Notorius Person of the Year awards. Much like those honored in Time Magazine, ShoutWire will give honors to the one person who pissed us off the most during the year. For now, we’ll start with our nominations.
Please feel free to vote in support of one of the honorees, or write-in your own candidates. Include a short description of why they should be included. Your votes through the next several months shall decide who will hold this great honor.
Now, let us look at our first candidates:
1.
Bill O’Reilly: Tell me who is the man who spins reality with just one hand? Though you may want to say Isaac Hayes after his recent run-in with South Park, it’s not so. It’s O’Reilly. Shut yo' mouth.
Though this media guru has done positive things such as call for far stricter penalties for sex offenders, he simply gets accused of blatantly lying through his teeth; constantly. From what I’ve seen, along with the likes of many others, the allegations seem to
weigh against him.
2.
Ann “Mann-Hands” Coulter: Ok. Now let’s be serious. She’s cute in a weird “if Skelator was a sort of hot woman” way.
Admit it. You know it’s true. This does not erase the fact that this woman may be pure evil incarnate. It’s one thing to demonize your political opponents, or even spin truth into “truthiness” just a bit, but saying things such as ‘[9/11 widows are] nothing but self obsessed and celebrity-seeking broads who are enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.’ is way out of line.
3.
Pat Robertson: Mr. Robertson has had a rough year. Not because he’s necessarily being oppressed, but more so for the things he’s said against others. As a Christian, some of his words have offended me. Condemning an entire city, saying they were being punished by God, was not cool in my books. Calling for the assassination of a foreign leader is not too good either. What took the cake for me, however, was his most recent claim.
Keep in mind Pat Robertson is what you may call “old”. Now straighten your face and sit down. I kid you not. Pat Robertson’s special “shake” gave him the
power to leg press 2,000 pounds. That is a ton. Pat Robertson, 70 years old, can lift a ton of weights.
Here is the official site and video. With those types of feats, how can you not believe his anti-evolution arguments?
4.
Fred Phelps: The leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, Phelps is a man with a mission. His mission; let the world know that “God Hates Fags”.
Seriously. Now while it is one thing to have a belief and speak one's mind in the land of the free, I think it may cross the moral line if you organize pickets before funerals for our fallen American soldiers. This is surely without taste and respect, in my opinion, and only God can judge such actions, right Fred?
5.
xxoozero: Love him or hate him, odds are you have read one of his
editorials. One of the most controversial figures in internet media, Zero means what he says, or does he? One thing is for sure, he won’t back down from what he says. Now you better go check on your girlfriend, because I think he’s single and looking.
Make sure to cast in your votes and write-in whoever you think should be candidates in your posts. The first annual Notorius Person of the Year primaries are now underway. We’ll continue to update pieces for pundits you loathe and hold a final vote-off for the top five in December.
Editor and Publisher