Yeah, jumping on this train with the WORST fashions from the dead decade of decadence.
Well, this is my first article and what a way to start this career. By bashing out on a decade in which the only good things to derive from it were toys, cartoons, and a new form of musical rebellion.
I present to you the worst of the worst.
1. Mullets.
I understand that at one point they were "cool". But they were cool in the way that owning an official Captain Kirk uniform is cool, only in select circles that agreed to look as retarded as possible, like Hollywood. Just look at the 2nd guy from the right. That mullet only reinforces his douchbaggieness.
2. Day Glo
Look just how happy they all look! Not only will they be seen from space, at night, but also during the DAY! How wonderfully horrible. Now, day glo wasn't just limited to coats and jackets, but it was used for socks, sunglasses, pants, fingerless gloves, shoes, tampons, hats, caps, and visors, hair elastics, and condoms.
Yeah, it was great. =/
3. Wham
Do I REALLY need to give a detailed list as to why Wham belongs on a list like this?
I didn't think so.
4. Parachute Pants
Yes, parachute pants. A staple of MC Hammer's wardrobe and saggy assed people everywhere. The crotch seam ended somewhere down by the knees allowing a person to easily throw their legs up around their ears without ripping those silken trousers.
Not only did they come in solid, silky, shiny colors but they also came with a myrid of patters and colors. One of the most memorable styles was the "Wannabe Rocker". This style of Parachute Pant was usually black, either cotton or polyester with the skull and crossbones in white, red, blue, and even day glo green. These were usually worn along with a mullet and a denim jacket, sans sleeves, with a patch of Ronnie James Dio on the back.
5. Mullets on Steroids
"Dude, dude, dude, looks like a lady...."
Ok, it's one thing if your an hermaphrodite singing songs about Karma Chameleons, but it's another thing entirely if you're singing songs about banging a chick behind the drive in. Mullets are a gateway hair style to "Big Hair". Worn mostly by effeminate males looking to score with chicks, this hair style was a failure from the start. Sadly, as is always the case, it became popular through the Hollywood scene and forced down through the gutter to appear in such distant places as middle America.
Sometimes, the hair gets so big it can be slightly difficult to tell the , erm, men from the women.
Ok, that's enough for me. I'm feeling rather nauseated remembering all these failures from the black hole of a decade. I hope I haven't sickened you too much as I have more to share.