In a decade of robots, leotards, and mullets... One group stood out above all. With a defiant voice and a 10,000 watt amp Metal had arrived. Here is my top 8 metal bands that brutally raped the 80's.
Ah, the 1980's… a time period that survivors refer to as the most embarrassing decade across the planet. People everywhere dressing like total tools, women competing for who could wear the biggest shoulder pads in their lady suits, music made almost entirely with drum machines and synthesizers. Indeed these were “bright” times. So bright in fact that God looked down upon the earth and once again turned his back on creation. It seemed everywhere you turned pop singers uglier than all seven of the deadliest sins donning wavy mullets and spandex were singing nonsensical lyrics backed up by three or four robotic looking women playing fake pink guitars. These were the worst of times… However, with God out of the picture a new challenger appeared! -Satan and his minions came forth creeping from the abyss of Hell bearing gifts of V-necked guitars and double bass drum pedals. As an act of pure sacrilege to everything good and pure in the universe, Satan created a new genre of music. It appeared things were taking a turn for the worst so God came back down from Olympus to guide over us and punish us for our evil ways, little did he know Metal had taken over and the a new spawn of demonic musicians wailed on a thousand guitars, told god to go fuck himself and he was thus banished into the abyss of eternal suffering. These were some rough times but some kick ass music actually did come from the 80’s and I have proof that not everyone was a fairy, Duran Duran loving faggot.
Now, I shall present to you in my own opinion what I believe to be the best or most influential metal bands during the 1980's and arguably of all time. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you about some pussified glam metal bands either. I'm talking about some really heavy shit man. So, right now I want you to look down at the sound icon, make sure its up to 100%. Take a look at your computer speakers, crank that shit to full blast. Now just sit back and try not to sacrifice any children after reading this. Ya know though… if you do...
that would be totally fucking metal. 8. Judas Priest
These guys have been around since the early 70's and are still around kicking ass today. They were formed in Birmingham, England in 1970. Arguably one of the pioneers of heavy metal these guys tore it up until the mid 80's when they lost their testicles and turned into another shitty glam metal group. This is why they earn a place in the top 8, but I have to label them as number 8. Before they went all gay on us they left the world with some serious 80's metal hits such as: "You've Got Another Thing Comin", "Living After Midnight", and "Headin out on the Highway". Probably their most metal moment was in 1985 when two teens in Reno, Nevada were under the influence of alcohol and Priest's subliminal message: "do it" from the album "Stained Class". Well, they really did it all right; they both shot themselves in the face with a .12 gauge shotgun. One Died, the other survived only to finally achieve his goal a few years later with sleeping pills. So, in respect to that awesome feat I will provide you with the song blamed for the suicide of two teenagers.
7. Ozzy Osbourne
What sort of 80's metal list would this be without the mad man himself Ozzy? It wouldn't be a fucking metal list I'll tell you that much. Branching off into a solo career from one of the greatest bands of all time Black Sabbath, Ozzy hit the stage strong and really really fucked up on drugs (the reason why he was fired from black Sabbath). He released a multitude of albums and singles and his popularity soared even higher. Also the face of controversy, his albums drove at least two fans to suicide and he is infamous for his stage antics. It should be noted that he sang alongside one of the best guitarists ever to handle an axe, Randy Rhoades. Diary of a Madman was an amazing album and also an amazing single from that album. I now present to you a killer song that defines Ozzy Osbourne.
6. Metallica
As much as it pains me to even see these pretentious dickheads on any sort of list of bands, unless the top list of douchebag sellouts, they were a serious metal force in the 1980’s. They were founded when Lars Ulrich placed a simple ad in an LA newspaper. Lars stole the band name from a friend (huh... I thought he was really opposed to people stealing musician’s hard work…. Guess I was mistaken) and the rest is history. Their first mainstream album was originally supposed to be titled “Metal up your Ass” but due to conflicts with the record label they renamed it to: “Kill em All” and it was released in 1983. In 1984 they put out another powerhouse album titled “Ride the Lightning” and by this time they had garnished a rather large following. I personally detest this band but when you hear a song like the one I’ve included, it is hard to deny the raw metal talent of everyone (except Lars, I know at least 2 friends who can play the drums better than him with one arm tied behind their backs) in that band.
5. Mayhem
Arguably the most controversial black metal band ever and one of my personal favorite bands of all time. Hailing from Oslo, Norway these guys defined, to me, what a black metal band is. Founded in 1984 and not releasing an official studio album until 1987, "Deathcrush" was an instant underground classic. However they did not gain a firm base until later in the 80's when they picked up a new singer simply named "Dead". Dead was infamous for his stage performance often cutting himself with knives and bleeding to the point of passing out and he even had to hospitalized a few times. He is in my opinion the most metal person to have ever lived. While his suicide, slitting his wrists and blowing his brains out with a shotgun, did not happen until 1991. So, I will refrain from discussing the details now. Mostly playing live venues these guys brought something to the 80's that had never been seen before. They were responsible for burning churches, band mates would later be responsible for violent murder, and they would go onto become a very successful black metal band. Without further adieu I present to you the song titled the same as the album "Deathcrush" (note this is NOT Dead singing, it is the previous singer Maniac) .
4. Bathory
A highly influential Swedish black metal band, they are the fathers of Viking metal and pioneers of black metal. With lyrics heavily centered on Norse mythology and Satanism, low-fi recording style and a vocals sounding like someone dropped a microphone down into the depths of hell, these guys defined the sound of black metal. Founded in 1983 by a 17 year old, they released their first self titled studio album “Bathory” in 1984. Bathory have been influential to musicians such as Metallica, Deicide, Billy Corgan, and even Mayhem. It should be noted here that Bathory has expressed it’s distate for bands like: Judas Priest and Iron Maiden and with good reason, Bathory is on a whole separate level. Bathory’s most brutal thing in my opinion was when they released the album “The Return”. When you turn the album over to the back to see the track listing, a poem with the song titles interwoven into the poem was the only thing on the backside of the case. This track I will present to you is from that album and is titled the same as the album “The Return of Darkness and Evil”.
3. Iron Maiden
Iron Maiden is another kick ass old-school band from London, England that was formed in 1975. They never really got the mainstream support they deserved but maybe that is the reason they were so influential and kick ass to headbangers everywhere. In 1981 they fired their lead singer because the dude snorted more coke than George Young and Pablo Escobar could bring in. They picked up Bruce Dickinson and hit it off immediately. He debuted with Iron Maiden on my personal favorite Maiden album: “The Number of the Beast”. This album included some seriously heavy tracks such as: “Run to the Hills”, “Hallowed be thy name”, and “Number of the Beast”. Iron Maiden hit #1 in the UK with this album and was in top tens all across the globe. They started to tour in the US and were met with hostility from of course, Christians. Their albums, along with Ozzy’s, were burned and broken in ‘record’ numbers (haha -get it?? Record?? lololmg). I guess those retards forgot that in buying the album to burn it, all you are doing is giving the band money and more publicity. They have gone on to release a plethora of albums and the majority kick fucking ass. The song I have embedded here is from the aforementioned album “The Number of The Beast” titled: “Hallowed be Thy Name”. The lyrics of this song are truly moving and Bruce’s vocal talent is unsurpassed.
2. Slayer
Slayer is another great American thrash metal band that showed Americans can be just as brutal as our European counterparts. Founded in 1981 they were quickly recognized as the face of American thrash metal. Their first studio album “Show no Mercy” was funded solely by the bandmates and generated instant underground popularity. Lyrics focusing heavily on Satan, death, and Hell they created a lot of controversy and equally as much fame. They went on tour with Venom and Exodus, released another kick ass album, “Hell Awaits”, and were notice by Def Jam who signed them to their label. Under Def Jam they produced probably their most important and widespread album “Reign in Blood”. However, due to the extreme fucking brutal album artwork and lyrical content, glorifying the holocaust and the experiments performed by the Angel of Death, Mengele. Def Jam refused to release the album. The Album was distributed by Geffon records in 1986 and hit the billboards at #94. The song I have chosen to represent Slayer is “Angel of Death” from their best album “Reign in Blood”. While Boy George was singing things such as “Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?” Slayer was howling: “Angel of Death, Monarch to the kingdom of the dead, Sadistic, surgeon of demise, Sadist of the noblest blood”
1. Venom
Perhaps not as popular or as respected in some circles as other thrash metal bands, Venom was
the thrash metal band. Formed in late 1979 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England, Venom was a heavily influential band and is said to have spawned, while maybe not defined, the genre of black metal. Venom’s debut single “In League with Satan” and “Live like an Angel” earned them enough respect to record their debut album in 1981 “Welcome to Hell”. While not a technical masterpiece, it was still groundbreaking. It was followed by an album in 1982, that some would argue spawned a new genre of metal, “Black Metal”. This was an important step in the dark direction of metal. In my opinion without Venom; Slayer, Mayhem, Bathory, Anthrax, Metallica and many other bands would not exist or sound completely different.
“Critic Ed Rivadavia described Black Metal as the product of 'a trio of visionary village idiots grappling with forces beyond their control (i.e., creative developments so groundbreaking they themselves had little control over its final destination, nor the technical ability to match their vision).' Despite its shortcomings, the album is nonetheless hugely influential.” (taken from wikipedia).
They were often regarded as talentless or bafoons but in my eyes that is what metal is all about. You don’t like it? Fuck you. We are gonna do what we wanna do. You think it sucks? Fuck you. The song I will represent Venom with is the title track from the album “Black Metal”, also titled “Black Metal”. It starts off with a growl and some devilish thrashing then the powerful lyrics “black fucking metal!”
Well,in my opinion, those are the most important metal bands of the 80’s. Proof that while a lot of people were obsessed with overly bright neon colors and stupid dances. Thousands and thousands of people stood by with their leather jackets and long hair ready and willingly defying the pop culture trends that look so foolish in retrospect.