Is it possible for a 23 year-old college student to pass an assignment when he can barely string together a sentence? The answer is “yes.”
Fuck the opening paragraph – I’m going to jump right into the meat. What follows is an excerpt from a 23 year-old college student’s written assignment on Cebus (a communications protocol). Keep in mind that this student actually received a passing grade.
cebus here a late start but it should be an all right start for you
When us are thinking about what kind of home adamation that is right for you should first think what will I be using the system to do if you live in a small home under 3000 square feet and only want a few lights to come on and off through out the day and also want to save a lot of money then X10 is for you but I’m not here to talk about an old out of date slow progame. Cebus is where is feel is the right way to go if you want a hard wired system that can run through your power line. Now as we all know when sending a single along a power line there are many problem do to noise and that is where cebus is set apart from X10, that is do to it fact that it has an almost endless feeling codes list and is also able to filter noise.
That’s the first paragraph of a lengthier piece of writing. Keep in mind that I have not edited this in any way: you are seeing it as the teacher saw it when it was graded.
This piece made its way from the originator to a school administrator via email (it was passed around a lot). Here’s what an actual school administrator had to say:
Well, it goes further than that..... The Boards will not "allow" a low pass percentage overall. It makes them look bad. AND, each school has a teacher failure rate report issued twice a year and the TEACHERS are afraid to see a high failure rate on that report. They feel it makes them "look like" bad teachers. That is a fact.
So, how do you win in this....... You don't.
So teachers are afraid to fail shitty students because it “looks bad,” and school boards don’t want a low pass percentage for the same reasons. What noble positions taken by the people responsible for educating kids. Sadly, these tactics are a one-two punch for both the student and the schools.
Do you know what really looks bad? How about a 23 year-old who writes at a grade 6 level? Let me tell you, I can only imagine this poor dolt writing a cover letter for his resume. Employers will take one look at it, laugh, and toss it in the rubbish bin (assuming they don’t pass it around and share a laugh with the rest of the personnel department). Passing this guy is setting him up for a long string of failures.
The embarrassment doesn’t end there. Inevitably, someone will ask "where the hell did this guy get his 'education?'" When the answer "St Lawrence College in Kingston" is given, word will get around that graduates of that school are functionally illiterate. I’m sure that this person isn’t the only one who has been passed despite unreadable grammar and structure, so word will soon get out that St. Lawrence College is a terrible place to send your kids, and an even worse place to look for prospective employees. I sure as hell wouldn’t hire someone from there.
I don’t mean to single out St. Lawrence College. Sadly, this scenario unfolds all of the time, from the elementary school level all the way up to college. Stupid kids are being passed in order to “save” a school or teacher’s reputation. It winds up costing both the student and the school in the long run.
The solution? Start failing kids. You’ll be doing them a favour. Forget what you’ve heard about failing being bad for kids’ egos, pass percentages, or failure rates. As teachers, it is your job to ensure that kids are prepared for the real world, and in the real world, you’ll need proper grammar and sentence structure. Playing percentages ends up fucking over students, and that’s unacceptable.
Parents can help get things moving too. Before you enroll your child in a school, write down a list of questions. Ask the faculty if the above scenario could happen to YOUR child. Ask them how they ensure that children leave the school properly prepared for the next step in their education (or the work force). Remember – you’re PAYING for this, either with your own money or through tax dollars. You have the right to ensure that money spent on your child’s education is not a complete waste.
There is no excuse for the travesty cited at the beginning of this editorial. If you currently write like that, and you are at a grade 7 level, then YOU WILL FAIL AT LIFE.
